i need you to know how it feels to have met you. i could not say this to your face and if you find your way here to this fragment of hallucination, i am not responsible for your feelings about it for it's here where i admit how i prefer to dwell in the darkness of confusion and how i marvel at the ugliness that i see pouring from me at times...... when you left, i laid on the cold floor to feel the sharpness to remind me that you are but a stranger to me and why should you care and why should it matter after all the others gone before and left to come? and i tell you now despite the absurdity of it and this comes with the disclaimer that this vulnerability has not been felt in 12 years and you scare the fuck out of me for it and so you left and i lied there like a corpse- incapable of anything, unruffled and still on the pale surface but seething inside.