my grandfather joined the Scottish Merchant Marines and dutifully fought in the Korean war, WW2, basically any war he could participate in. he never respected my father who declared himself a conscientious objector when drafted for the Vietnam war and served instead in humanitarian aid projects for asthmatic and mentally retarded american children for three years.
my grandmother liked to say that neither of them were correct in their disdain for each other.
she said that her husband had seen things in war that deemed him hazardous and sadistic.
she bore that cruelty with a calm steadfastness that eventually turned her heart into a desolate & gelid place.