look what i have done to others coming back to me now- keeping solitude held firmly against myself. here is the recollection...... it involves a fragile gentleman finding respite in the attention that fostered the connection that i had lavished upon him as the chase which served to prove my pulchritude and prowess progressed and there we were, running neck to neck through the dust of human uncertainty yet establishing more and more comfortable common ground and then the road was gone and we began to feel safe in the cloud like realm of intimacy and all was well and bright until he turned to me in a foolish fit of solidarity and wrenched his heart from his chest and offered it to me and i was annoyed that love coloured blood was staining my pretty satin shoes and i, being the petulant flea that i was, shoved him away from me and all affection drained away like the color that vanished from his face when i laughed in derision and turned to run towards someone, something- anything that had sensibly stayed coldly self contained.